‘Windows Update’—let’s face it—is obviously one of the best things that has ever happened to you in your life, isn’t it? Constant prompts, forced restarts, lengthy installations, ah, now that’s the true essence of life. Just saying “Windows Update” sends a shiver down my spine because of the true enthrallment it brings with itself.
Okay, for real now, Windows Updates is literally the
single worst thing about Windows. Oh, wow, look at this, literally just as I’m typing this post, guess what popped up on my screen:
Now, if you have issues with Windows Update,—like an exquisite infinite “Downloading updates” progress bar stuck on a particular percentage (like 69%,
ha) since like 2 days, or the fantastic “Failed to install updates” issue, or the infinite “searching for updates” phase where it probably probes through the deep web on a dial-up connection for the so-called “updates” it apparently requires—I’ve got you, and this one’s so easy that you’ll just have to click a few… clicks… to achieve the “God of Computers” level that you can brag to your friends about.
Step 1: Download the below Windows tool
You’re going to need a little tool by Windows that diagnoses and fixes the issues with the Windows Update service and Background Intelligent Transfer Service (BITS) within a few seconds/minutes. These 2 services are the key components associated with Windows Updates.
Download this tool from here.
After the download is complete, extract the .RAR file anywhere you like and you’ll now have the “WindowsUpdate.diagcab” troubleshooting cabinet there.
Step 2: Run the tool
Run the “WindowsUpdate.diagcab” cabinet normally and you’ll see a window like this:
If you’re using Windows 7, just click “Next” and go through the troubleshooting process normally.
If you’re using Windows 10, then you’ll see the following:
Click on the longest button you have ever seen, and continue with the “Next” buttons. Let the troubleshooting begin and diagnose for issues. The application will then automatically fix any issues and restart the Windows Update and BITS services, and you’re good to go!
NOTE: I know it’s a mere troubleshooting tool, and you must be thinking “WTF, seriously, dude?”, well, I myself was pretty frustrated with updating errors and this was the last thing that I did that magically fixed everything wrong with the godforsaken updates that is Windows Updates. So, just give it a try, sometimes the simplest things are the most astonishing.
Step 3: Try the update again now [Reboot]
By now, any of your Windows Updates related problems should be sorted out and your updates should seamlessly get downloaded/searched/installed. But just in case they’re still messed up, reboot your computer, and then try again. Now, it should be working just like the day your daddy got you that ancient Windows 7 computer.
Step 3.1: Try the update again now [No reboot]
If you do not want to reboot your computer, you can just restart the Windows Update and BITS services from a few terminal commands.
Open up a command prompt window by hitting the Windows + R keys together and typing “CMD” in the “Run” box. Press Enter. Now, prepare to look like one of the dudes in those hacker movies, and type these commands (Enter being pressed after each line):
net stop wuauserv net stop bits
Then, after waiting for the services to stop, and successfully stopping them, let’s restart them by the following commands:
net start wuauserv net start bits
You have now restarted your Windows Update and BITS services and can try updating once more, this time without any issues, because your hacker
ass self fixed it!